Sunday, January 30, 2011


She sat in a corner, wiping her tears away. She had to be strong and pull through.

Stay strong for what? To get crushed again? To hope and then to fall and hurt myself? I don't even know what I want! I don't even know who I'm becoming! I can't stand staying here for another minute. I....

Her phone buzzed. She picked it up to find a new message.


Sup? I haven't spoken to him in a week and he couldn't find a better time to text. Brilliant. I don't want to reply! But I still want him to know I'm feeling horrid. I wish he was around, he'd make things better. He's such an ass. But he's my best friend. I don't want to make him mad by not replying. What if.....

So guess what? I'm at that Italian Restaurant that we went to the other day.

I'm sitting here and going through existential crisis and all he has to say to me is that he's in some restaurant?! I want to be back in Chennai. God, I miss that place so much, I miss the beach. I'd always go to the beach when I had to deal with myself. He'd come too. I miss him now. Oh god, not again, I can't keep getting.....

Hello?? Fell off the face of the Earth?

Bloody hell! Fell off the face of the Earth??!?! Who says that to someone who's weeping her heart out?! Well, yeah, he doesn't know that but....argh! Now he's annoying me!

But before she could send an annoyed reply, her phone buzzed with another message.

I just realized that the food here is pretty bad. I guess the last time, you were here. I never paid attention to the food. I miss you.

She smiled and the tears fell again but this time, she didn't wipe them away.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Two worlds

He ran across the court, dribbling the ball by his side. He blocked and took a tough shot at the basket. The ball balanced precariously on the ring as every single player stopped to watch it. As everyone gasped, it fell in, making him the star of the match. The girls who were sitting on the bleachers erupted in Ooh's and Aah's while his team mates ran up to pat him on the back. He was pretty excited and looked around at all the people cheering for him. As he was looking away, a girl at the end of the bleachers caught his sight. She had her earphones plugged and looked completely lost in a small thick book that she was reading. He found himself getting slightly annoyed at her lack of interest in what he'd just achieved. He turned around and started running across the court. He looked up at her again and saw her smiling at the book - and he found himself smiling at that.


She sat at the far end of the bleachers, away from the rest of the girls who were there just to cheer on the guys playing. She had a free period and the library was closed so she found herself a shady spot and settled down. She plugged her earphones in and ruffled through the pages of her novel, trying to find the page she'd stopped on. There was a lot of cheering happening but the music drowned it out. She found the page and started reading, blissfully ignoring everything happening around her.
A loud cheer and the annoying giggling of the girls nearby made her look up. She saw a boy on the court looking particularly pleased with himself and the rest of the team patting him on the back. She almost immediately went back to her book, assuming that he'd just shot a basket. She found herself smiling at all the cheering and yelling the girls were doing. She looked up again and saw the boy running across the court. As he turned around to face her, she went back to reading from where she'd left off, still smiling at the amusement she'd witnessed.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Not-so-perfect Plan

Its so easy to think with your head; it's equally as easy to feel with your heart.
But what happens when you try to think with your heart and feel with your head?

Confusion. A lot. You think you know what you want but apparently you don't. You promise yourself and justify very convincingly that you won't be feeling any of these emotions but you do anyway.

Segregation. You think, "No emotions involved! Of course, now that I've said it, it's not going to happen!" If only it was that easy. So then you're overwhelmed by emotions and suddenly you realize that your "perfect plan" isn't really perfect. Perfectly idiotic maybe, but not perfect.

When you finally see the fact that you've been stupid by thinking- even for a split second-that you can control your heart and think with it, the feeling of annoyance is overwhelming.

And then somewhere, deep down inside, the void that you wanted to fill with this "perfect plan" re-emerges.

At the end of the day, you're left with emotions you don't want to deal with, a hurt ego, a defeated brain, a void that's threatening to eat up your insides and a not-so-perfect plan.

Note to self: Plan needs correction. BIG TIME.