Thursday, May 6, 2010

Brighter than before!

When there was a heavy gloom settling around me, I felt trapped and suffocated. The gloom invaded my heart and my mind, throwing me completely off the balance I'd created for myself. Lying in an unknown corner, I cried, yelled, got violent and gave up. I sat there, pitying my state, hating him. People around me had no idea what was happening, I had no idea who I was becoming.
And then it hit me. I'd given so much of myself to him, I'd made myself so vulnerable that when things turned sour, I gave him the power to destroy me. I thought he loved me too much to do that, but I was wrong. He shattered my heart, broke my spirit and ripped apart my self-esteem.

I had no idea who I was anymore.

I cried myself to sleep for countless nights, grew violent because of my helplessness and became a cynic - the one thing I hated in others. I Grew to hate myself, hate who I was and soon, people outside could see that.
Time is a healer, they all say, and they say right! those who truly loved me eased me out of my gloom and my helplessness and showed me who I was. They helped me rip him out of my life, helped me put my own shattered heart back together.
They believed in me, they loved me, they hugged me and they trusted me.
And just how the phoenix rises from its ashes, I'm rising now, stronger than ever.

I felt a while back that I had nothing left to give to anybody, but now I have all the love, care and support to give the world.
I'm back and this time, I'm older, stronger and wiser.
I might be hurt again, but this time, I will not let go of myself.
And this is a thank you note to those who showed me what unconditional love really means.