And then it hit me. I'd given so much of myself to him, I'd made myself so vulnerable that when things turned sour, I gave him the power to destroy me. I thought he loved me too much to do that, but I was wrong. He shattered my heart, broke my spirit and ripped apart my self-esteem.
I had no idea who I was anymore.
I cried myself to sleep for countless nights, grew violent because of my helplessness and became a cynic - the one thing I hated in others. I Grew to hate myself, hate who I was and soon, people outside could see that.
Time is a healer, they all say, and they say right! those who truly loved me eased me out of my gloom and my helplessness and showed me who I was. They helped me rip him out of my life, helped me put my own shattered heart back together.
They believed in me, they loved me, they hugged me and they trusted me.
And just how the phoenix rises from its ashes, I'm rising now, stronger than ever.
I felt a while back that I had nothing left to give to anybody, but now I have all the love, care and support to give the world.
I'm back and this time, I'm older, stronger and wiser.
I might be hurt again, but this time, I will not let go of myself.
And this is a thank you note to those who showed me what unconditional love really means.
nice. i've read a few entries on ur blog earlier too. good that ur outta ur depression. i have a similar situation in life. somebody destroyed my life too. n he is, even now, doin the same. even i thought he loved me too much to destroy me. but i was wrong. i still sit n cry every single night, but nothin changes. i fall asleep, it dusks, day goes on n i do nothin n i cry again. the worst part is that, i get to see him flirtin with somebody right in front of my eyes. n i don even exist for him. i just don understand what i've done wrong. anyways, im sorry for that. but yeah, cried just a while ago. so, effects stayin on. just wanna say, good that ur outta it. don ever come back to this circle. coz its really pathetic.
ReplyDeletetake care:)
loved the way u described the first paragraph. very true. i so relate to it, sa though u read my mind :)
ReplyDeleteDr. Chandana Shekar, honestly, this guy is not worth your attention at all! He feels so inadequate that he seems to want the attention of all the girls he flirts with and is definitely not worth your time!
ReplyDeleteDon't waste your time and tears for him anymore, save it for when its truly worth it!
Always here for you!
hello :)
ReplyDeletei have read some of your previous entries and i can almost always relate to them. you put in emotions into words extremely well.
"And then it hit me. I'd given so much of myself to him, I'd made myself so vulnerable that when things turned sour, I gave him the power to destroy me. I thought he loved me too much to do that, but I was wrong. He shattered my heart, broke my spirit and ripped apart my self-esteem."
something very true..this love gives the other the power to break you in a way no one else can.
thanks for putting this up :)
I'm glad you're able to relate to my writing!
ReplyDeleteThank you~