Having moved away for the past few years and then come back, I've been unearthing all my past relationships. Some of them give me so much joy, make me laugh till my sides hurt and envelope me in a warm feeling - one of belonging. There are others that leave me confused because we both seem to have moved onto different tracks. And then, there are those relationships that haven't changed at all, but somewhere, deep inside of me, there's a fresh surge of emotion.
And yet, amidst all this, there are times when I feel incredibly lonely, lost and angry. A lot of my past is still so alive in me, because there haven't been closures. There are so many relationships that I can't seem to let go of, even though the others have left a long time ago.
I keep thinking that one day, I'll get what I want and then, none of this will ever matter. But will it, really? Will that one relationship give me so much love, so much support, so much power that I can let go of all my past unfinished ones? Does love like that even exist? Or is it just something I'm saying to myself to feel better?