Saturday, March 6, 2010

Unopened letter

Dear Whoever-cares,

I hate this. I hate it when I wish for something and I get it, but I then realise that its not what I need. I hate it when I have to break his heart, I hate it when I have to be the bad one. I hate it when I feel hollow and lonely as I lay down to sleep. I hate it when I get up again, in the middle of the night, after trying so hard to fall asleep. I can't even escape to my dreams, to a state of blissful ignorance, Where will I go now?

He made me so happy, he gave me everything I wanted, he loved me. And yet, why is it that I remember only those words that tore me apart and hurt me? Why can't remember any of the good things? Why don't I feel love any more? Why do I feel like my soul has been sucked out of me and lost, when this is the time I should pull myself together because of all the things I'm expected to do?

Is this a self fulfilling prophecy? Do I really not love him? Will I never find anyone who will love me again? Is that even a reason for me to stay in this?

Why is it that when my heart is so heavy and my eyes are brimming with tears of confusion, I have nobody to tell me it'll be okay? Why do I feel this way? Will I never know what love is? Will I never find it? Is what I felt untrue?

I just want to go away, to some place where no one knows my face, or my name. I want to dissolve into oblivion, and erase the memory of my existence in their thoughts. Take me away.

Take me away tonight.

1 comment:

  1. i share this feelin with u. every single word.. depression at its best.dono what to say... but life sucks at times... time is teh best healer. just hope for the best...