Monday, January 16, 2012

A drugged thought

Why do I do this to myself?

Why do I listen to songs that remind me of you when the only thing I should be doing is forgetting you?
When my heart is too numb to be capable of love or anything like it, why are you tempting and testing me?
It takes a toll when you know what you want could destroy you. Break you into pieces and leave you lying there, unable to ever fix yourself. But without it, you're always aching for something.
It takes everything I have to be able to see you and talk to you like I used to while I die a little on the inside.

Sometimes I think that I like the ache in my heart when it knows that its lost the battle with my mind. To be able to look back and say, "That's life - you can't have your cake and eat it."

You're no piece of cake. But thats why you mean so much, don't you?

You're my drug. The drug that I'm trying to quit. I will probably quit. But for now, I'm still high on you.

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