Friday, May 6, 2011


I lay in bed with my eyes wide open.

I can't sleep because you seem to have made yourself a priority in my head.

Things you said, your expressions, our fights, our conversations, the way you looked at me, the way you smell, the way your hair feels - they all stroll across my mind.

I turn to my side, desperate to change what I'm thinking about.

But I have no luck. You're still on my mind. Your I-love-you texts flash across my eyes.

I miss you. I miss the comfort we shared. Maybe I screwed up by telling you that I was in love with you - and now, I regret it every minute of everyday.

I lay on my back and sigh. I think of the Saturday morning conversations, the times when we had conversations with our eyes, the secret texts, the concerned phone calls.

And then the tears start. The big lump in my throat melts and the tears fall, staining my pillow.

I don't want the apartment with yellow bathroom tiles. I don't want twin babies. I don't want arguments over dinner. I don't want to ride behind you in your bike as you drop me off to work every morning. I don't even want to wake up every morning to see your face. I don't want you to make me tea.

I want you to make pervy jokes in an attempt to disgust me. I want you to put your arm around me just so that no one else does. I want you to send me random I-love-you texts. I want you to call me on Saturday morning and discuss morning hormonal changes. I want you to tell me how you'll kick any guy who tries to get close to me.

I want you back. I want us back.


  1. seriously i m havin d same trouble 2day exactly d same. y gals r stone heartd.....:(

  2. It's like deja vu of the days gone. Hang in there.

  3. really touched me... that nostalgia ,that hurt of a love affair gone wrong put so subtly yet so heartwarmingly ... loved your writing..

  4. Divyansh, girls aren't the stone-hearted ones.

    I'm desperately hanging on!

    Thank you - people like you make me feel comfortable expressing myself!

  5. @purvaa- dese gals made me sadist i used 2 b a nice guy bt nt ny more.... no offence wit u bt i don't tink luv even exits espcially d luv u r cepictin here. its all abt give n take relationship.... u rite gud though. i find myself refreshd wenevr i m here n sm tyms wen i m runnin outa of ideas i cm here n aftr readin all ur blog posts i literally mean all i must say u ve grown so much.... :) :) chalo bht ho gyi tareef jyada karunga to sochegi flirt maar raha hun...:P:P

  6. yeah gals r nt stone hearted n probably confused, bt i guess we guys shud appreicate that coz atleast in India they hv to thnk abt a lot of other thngs unlike guys like us...hope u just hang on n just dont wait fr long fr thngs to happen

  7. hhmmmm...Nostalgia...touchy one...:)

    Just to let you know that i dropped here from Divyansh's Blog and genuinely happy to be here, following you now....:))

  8. Hah,
    The nostalgic but touching expression.The subtle touch of over pouring feelings could only be expressed by Purva.You are so good.Kaaaaaash you write books with same vigour.
    Thank god I travelled all the way you are now. Do not worry your comfort zone stays as pink as u are.

  9. Thank you for your support :)

    It keeps me writing!

  10. @ Purvaa, beautifully put across:)

    And don't lose faith in love: it's not what you did right or wrong, it's the person you chose. If he/she is The One for you then nothing will seem too much, otherwise everything seems too little.

  11. Touching... takes me back in time...