Thursday, November 5, 2009

Let go

I can feel it in my blood, flowing through every single vein in my body, pulsating with violent frustration. My whole body feels like its on fire and the tears streaming down my face are like the eruptions of a volcano, hot and destructive. The big lump in throat is not stopping my tongue from lashing out words that can kill in an instant.
I have waited patiently, I have understood, I've kept silent, I've supported, I've been hurt, I've tolerated. But no more. I've curbed myself for far too long, always saying, "some other time, when they're feeling better." And when I do finally say something, I suddenly appear demanding and insensitive.
And now, I let go. Fire erupts and anyone who comes close are bound to get hurt. I shut everything around me, so that nobody gets close. I let go of my sensitivity, I let go of my care, I let go of my love, I let go of my hurt, I let go of my anger, I let go of my tears, I let go of me.
I'm walking away, leaving my world burning.

And I feel strangely calm, rising out of the emptiness in me.

4 comments:

  1. I can relate to that, especially today :)

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  2. that was vivid. felt like i'd been there. i just don't get the idea of sacrifice u know. it doesn't make sense to me at all. we're all trained to sacrifice for each other. but in the end... thanks to that... no1 is happy. what's the bloody use?

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  3. I guess there's an effective zone to everything in life...
    Sacrifice to a point is okay, because the joy you see in the other person because of what you've sacrificed makes you happy, but when sacrifice becomes extreme selflessness, that's when its time to stop and look at what's happening at do something about it, instead of continuing into acute misery!

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  4. After reading the post and all commetns, I am thinking, is Love conditional or unconditional ?????

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