Monday, June 8, 2009

deja vu

I spent two whole months away from you, healing and coming to terms with reality. I was so sure that I'd grown stronger, grown more mature and had finally moved on.
But then I saw you smile and make me feel special. I saw you care and I saw being there for me. And all those barriers that I'd built of strength to protect myself just melted away into non-existence. And I found myself as unprotected and as vulnerable as ever.
"This time it is going to be so different!" I thought, feel empowered and ready to give you all the love I have. I loved, without conditions. I heard those three magical words from you and I was lost in Utopia for the rest of the night. We wanted the same things and in my head, i pictured all this leading to something beautiful.
But I just ended up as broken, as empty and as lonely as I'd felt the last time. And the tears came streaming down my face. I felt weak and my eyes ached after those endless hours of tears. Shattered and broken pieces of my heart was strewn in corners I could not even reach.
I dreaded facing the "I-told-you-so"s and the numerous sympathy hugs and speeches.
Why did this happen all over again? It was supposed to be different, it was supposed to work out!

I love you dammit, what more can I give?


  1. don wanna symapthize u, coz ur tired of it already. but hey, 'picture abhi baaki hain mere dost".. life goes on... chillax. nightmares do happen in life. but the day appears after every night rite ? :)

  2. Hey, I just stumbled onto your blog.
    Thats some really, really great writing :) Its nice to see that one can relate to your posts with ease & feel the emotions penetrating deep within.
    Great work!