I'm long gone

I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be pulled out of my comfort zone and thrown to the far end. I was just fine without you in my life. I was fine doing what I thought was right.

And then everything I've known all my life turns out to be a lie. I feel like I'm floating in the deep ocean with absolutely nothing to hang onto. I have no idea which way I should go because I can't see land anywhere.

I didn't want to have emotions raging a war in me this soon. I didn't want you. I didn't want you to hold me that night. I didn't want you to let my hair down.

I don't even know you and you've already managed to start a war of emotions that I'm losing. I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to feel the familiar pains of love. No, I didn't want any of that.

I thought when I did finally let my heart go, I would be strong enough. I didn't want it snatched away and then thrown back to me.

Now I feel stupid. I feel weak. I feel sick in the stomach. I feel everything that I promised myself I would never feel because I thought I was better than that.

But you proved to me that I'm not.

One of those days

Its one of those days.

One of those days when you realize that every night, you come back to an empty house.

One of days when you're walking back home and all the songs on shuffle seem to be about loneliness and heartbreak.

One of those days when you wish you had someone's arms to cuddle in after a long day at work.

One of those days when it seems like that heartbreak happened just yesterday.

One of those days when you see a cute couple and you can't help but wonder what it would be like to have that with someone.

One of those days where nothing you do seems to make too much sense.

One of those days when you just want to lie in bed and have a dream-less sleep.

One of those days where you're smiling at everyone and making conversation but it all feels out of place.

Its one of days that will pass.

Tomorrow I'll wake up and today will be a thing of the past, maybe even forgotten.

But for now, its still just one of those days.